In this week’s episode, we take a look at six of the worst pieces of writing advice on the Internet, and explain why you shouldn’t listen to them.
This week’s coupon is for the audiobook of GHOST IN THE THRONE as excellently narrated by Hollis McCarthy. You can get the audiobook of GHOST IN THE THRONE for 50% off at my Payhip store with this coupon code:
SPRINGTHRONE
The coupon code is valid through March 29th, 2024, so if you find yourself needing an audiobook to leap into spring, we’ve got one ready for you!
TRANSCRIPT
00:00:00 Introduction and Writing Updates
Hello, everyone. Welcome to Episode 191 of The Pulp Writer Show. My name is Jonathan Moeller. Today is March 8th, 2024, and today we are talking about bad writing advice. In fact, we’re talking about the worst writing advice, but more on that later. Before we get to any of our other topics, let’s do Coupon of the Week. This week’s coupon is for the audiobook of Ghost in the Throne, as excellently narrated by Hollis McCarthy. You can get the audiobook of Ghost in the Throne for 50% off at my Payhip store with this coupon code: SPRINGTHRONE and that’s spelled SPRINGTHRONE. Of course the coupon code, as always, will be in the show notes for this episode. This coupon code is valid through March 29th, 2024. So if you find yourself needing an audiobook to leap into spring, we’ve got one ready for you.
Before we get to any of other our other topics, let’s first have an update on my current writing projects. I am 81,000 words into Ghost in the Veils, which puts me on Chapter 19 of either 21 or 22. I’m not entirely sure because I think I reused some numbers in my outline, which is obviously something we will fix before we get to the final draft. I am hoping to finish things up next week, if all goes well with the rough draft and then we will be on track to hopefully have the book out before Easter. I’m also 37,000 words into Wizard Thief, the second book in my Half-Elven Thief series and if all goes well, that will be out in April.
I’m also 9,000 words into Cloak of Titans, and if all goes well, that should be out in May, I believe. And then after I write that, that’s when I’ll start working on Shield of Darkness, the Second Shield War book. As I mentioned in the previous episode, the audiobook of Shield of Storms is now available. It’s definitely available on Audible, Amazon, and Apple. It’s on my Payhip store. It’s on Kobo. I believe it is on Nook Audio. Processing is going rather slowly for the other stores, which is unfortunate, but since most of these sales will probably come from Audible anyway, it’s not that unfortunate, but hopefully it should be available on all the other stores before too much longer.
00:02:16 Question of the Week
Now we’re going to have a new topic that we’re going to do every week as part of the show. It’s called Question of the Week. I could hardly claim this is an original idea. I noticed that many blogs and many podcasts do a question of the week feature, but it seems like a good one to add to our show and website here. So this week’s Question of the Week (the very first Question of the Week, as a matter of fact): If you listen to audiobooks, what apps do you use? Of course, there are no wrong answers. We had a variety of good answers to this question.
Reader JL says: I use Audible. Paid for one year in advance. Use the credits unless the cost of the Audible book is less than the cost of the credit. I’ve noticed that sometimes this is the case if I bought the book or have it out in KU. That is true. Amazon has this feature called WhisperSync, where if you’ve bought the ebook you can sometimes get a discount on the audiobook if you buy it directly rather than using an Audible credit.
Reader Joachim says: I use Smart Book Player on Android. I only use audiobooks in MP3 format.
Reader Adam says: Audible, Graphicaudio.net, direct purchases from authors and/or Kickstarter rewards, Google Play Books, mostly DRM free downloads. Preference is direct from authors or a service which allows downloading titles for archival purposes.
I should mention if you buy any of my audiobooks through Payhip, the fulfillment is through Book Funnel, which does allow you to download the MP3s to keep them for archival purposes if you’re offline or you don’t have access to your phone or computer.
Doug says he uses Audible and he just finished Shield of Storms and is now listening to Sevenfold Sword Online: Creation.
Tom says he uses the Audible annual 24 credit subscription. That’s like 2 credits a month. I realize that’s common for people who work in jobs like construction or industrial jobs where they can listen to audiobooks the entire day, and so therefore will go through quite a few of them.
Venus says she listens to Libby or Nook, mostly Libby. If your library has access to Libby or a similar listening service, you can get audiobooks that way.
And finally, Bonnie says: Truthfully, I’ve tried Audible, but I am not a fan of listening to books. Would rather do the reading myself.
So as you can see, there are a range of options and opinions when it comes to listening to audiobooks. For myself, I use a combination of the monthly credit from Audible and discount audiobooks from the Chirp daily e-mail. If you do listen to a lot of audiobooks, it might be worthwhile to subscribe to Chirp, because then you could get some bargains on audiobooks in genres that may interest you.
00:04:55 Main Topic: The Worst Writing Advice from the Internet
Now on to this week’s main topic: the worst writing advice you can find on the Internet. The reason I wanted to do this episode was the same reason I started this podcast. I’ve been a writer for a long time. Ghost in the Veils is going to be my 150th book, and so I’ve gotten more experience than I’m not going to say everybody, but I do have more experience than many writers. I decided the podcast would be a good way to share some of that experience in a way that isn’t pushing it on people or charging for expensive courses or anything like that. The advice is there if you want to listen to it, and if you don’t want to listen to it, that’s just fine too.
However, the flip side of this coin is that there’s a lot of really terrible writing advice out there, like just plain bad writing advice that’s more destructive than helpful. To cover that, I asked for our transcriptionist to do some research for me and pull together some of the worst writing advice she could find on the Internet and then we would talk about it here. She found six particularly bad pieces of writing advice that we would debunk.
The first piece of worst writing advice is that writing talent is innate. If you can’t be a success right away, there is no point. This is just plainly false. Almost anyone can improve at any skill, and writing is no different with a sustained commitment over time. It just takes practice. A good way to debunk this is to look at the early works of famous writers like Jane Austen, to show that their writing improved over time. Or if you dig heavily into J.R.R. Tolkien’s works, you’ll see that the first initial drafts of what would become Lord of the Rings were not super great. By the time The Lord of the Rings actually came out, Tolkien had improved a good deal as a writer. Many authors have a rough first book or even rough first series and then go on to greater success or greater acclaim because they just practice and get better. With practically anything, practice will improve and writing is no different in that regard. After all, if you have a favorite author and you look at his or her first book and then compare it to his or her latest book, odds are you will notice a significant improvement in skill and that will be true for anyone.
Number two: you need an MFA (that’s a Master of Fine Arts degree) to be good enough to write a book. This is something I could rant about for a significant length of time because I think there are serious criticisms to be made of the way higher education is funded in the United States and serious criticisms to be made of the ways the student loan program works, but that’s rather off scope for this podcast, so instead we’re going to focus on why you don’t need a Master of Fine Arts degree to be a writer. MFA programs tend to lean heavily towards poetry and literary fiction (literary fiction being, you know, fiction that isn’t genre fiction, like, you know, mystery, science fiction or fantasy). The stereotype of literary fiction is it tends to be about creative writing professors having affairs with one another and while of course this is a cliche, there is a measure of truth to it.
MFA programs tend to be a very homogeneous group of people who value a very specific type of writing/style. Genre fiction is often looked down on and “commercial” is used as an insult by many instructors in MFA programs, which is all well and dandy, but if you’re writing literary fiction, commercial fiction has a better chance of being able to pay your taxes and your mortgage. An MFA credential does not guarantee results and employment prospects and is extremely expensive unless you get into a funded program. We mentioned the problem of student debt a little earlier and if you go into a MFA program, you’re going to have a lot more student debt. There’s also the opportunity cost of spending two years learning to write in an MFA program. Finally, to illustrate the point, think of your top ten favorite writers and look up how many of them have a Master of Fine Arts degree. The percentage will probably be fairly low. So overall, I would not recommend going into an MFA program if you want to be a writer.
The third piece of terrible writing advice is to only write when you feel inspired. This is bad because writing if you, even if you enjoy it, is still a form of work, and if you only do work when you feel like doing work, it’s never going to get done. It’s good to remember that progress is always better than perfection, and this type of thinking feeds into procrastination. Steve Jobs very famously said when he took over Apple again at the start of the 21st century that real artist ship and the correlate to that would be real writers publish. A good example to look at is athletes in various phases of training and competition. They don’t train when they feel inspired. They create a plan and stick to it in order to meet their goals. The structure that comes from plans makes it easier to define your goals and track your results, so it’s a good idea to try a disciplined approach to writing, I think and try and write as much as you’re able, whether it’s 500 words a day or 1,000 words a day, rather than waiting for you to just get inspired. This is true for pretty much any field of work and also writing.
The fourth piece of bad writing advice is to only write what you know. If this was actually good advice, then all books would be about writers trying to write and maybe household chores and tax preparation. This would be terrible advice for fantasy and science fiction writers, if taken at face value. Writing using your own knowledge and experiences can make your book more engaging, but think of it as a starting point or way to add texture to your story, not a rule.
That said, if you want to write about something you don’t know about, you don’t actually have to become an expert in it. You just have to know enough to fake it. Remember, as we’ve talked about in a previous episode of the show, your book doesn’t have to be realistic. It has to feel realistic. We want not realism, but verisimilitude, where it feels realistic. You can make it feel realistic with a lot less research than you can to become actually an expert in something. Only writing what you know is a very good way to limit your writing and get less writing done than you would otherwise.
The fifth piece of bad writing advice we found was to write based on what’s trending so the book will basically market itself. This is a bad idea, because by the time you finish and the book is ready to sell, the market may have already grown tired of the trend and moved on to dystopian mermaid stories or something else. Readers also have a sense when a story is rushed or written in a different way. It’s much better to write something that you’re excited to write. It’s also important to realize that not all categories are equally lucrative or easy to market, though. A book on soil testing methodologies is unlikely to make anywhere near as much money as a romance, for example.
The sixth and final piece of bad writing advice we’re going to talk about this week is that there is no point in writing now that AI is taking over. Go do something else. A good example of why this is bad advice is the game of chess. Recently I got back into playing chess on a regular basis. I’ve known how to play the game since I was like 10, I think, which is an increasingly long amount of time ago, but I haven’t played in a while. I got back into it after a gap of several years and I was baffled and somewhat surprised to see that there’s actually like chess influencers now. I mean, everything else has influencers. I mean, they’re like, you know, stationery influencers and video game influencers and packing material influencers. I was astonished to see that there are chess influencers and that they are in fact photogenic young people who post Instagram pictures of themselves playing chess. They have live streams of themselves playing chess, and they get into feuds with each other like every other group of influencers on the planet.
Where this relates to writing/AI is that for decades now, it’s been literally impossible for a human to defeat a properly configured computer at chess. It can’t be done. If you have a chess program that’s configured to make maximum use of its resources, it will beat even the best human player every single time and the end result of this is no one cares. The chess community continues on having all its influencers, rivals, and feuds and playing the game because as one of the chess influencers himself said, watching a human play a computer at chess is like watching a human try to arm wrestle a hydraulic press. You know who’s going to win. It’s boring. No one cares. Everyone goes back to the humans playing each other at chess and the chess engines are there for people who want to play, you know, bots on the Internet.
And I suspect that is going to be the case with AI writing. You may get to the point where AI is able to spit out a novel, but it will be like a computer playing chess. It’s like, yeah, that’s nice, but no one actually cares. Even if AI became a major source of fiction, there would still be many readers out there, given the negative anti-AI feelings that are very prevalent on the Internet, who would prefer fiction written by humans as a preference, just like there are viewers who hate special effects heavy movies like Marvel movies and seek out movies using a lot of practical effects or physical stages.
The final weakness with this advice that there is no point in writing now that AI taking over is that legislation regarding AI and copyright is still marked with uncertainty. If you can’t copyright the product of an AI engine, there’s no point in trying to sell it. So for all those reasons, I don’t think that AI is an excuse not to write and that it will probably end up like being a chess engine. Any chess computer can defeat a human, but that really doesn’t matter very much.
So there we are, six pieces of bad writing advice that you can safely ignore. That’s it for this week. Thanks for listening to The Pulp Writer Show. I hope you found the show useful. A reminder that you can listen to all the back episodes on https://thepulpwritershow.com, often with transcripts. Speaking of which, a big thank you to my transcriptionist for helping me to research this episode. If you enjoyed the podcast, please leave a review on your podcasting platform of choice. Stay safe and stay healthy and see you all next week.
